So it’s been a couple of weeks
since I’ve been pregnant and thought it would be nice to pen down a few ups and
many of the downs that I’ve gone through.
So this is how it all started. On
February 11th night I had a big fight with my dearest husband! I was
so angry that I didn’t talk to him the entire night and the next day. Well but
somehow in those days when he was away I knew there was something wrong as I
had missed my period and I just wanted to know. So on the 12th I
bought a pregnancy test and with thoughts driving me crazy I did the test – I
basically peed on that stick!
I saw the first pink line come up
and then came the second line! Clear as day! My reaction: “Oh shit!” (Please
note: I generally do not use words like that, in fact I hate that word, plus I
do not encourage the usage of that word too, but under the given circumstances
I guess I excused myself!).
So now I’m torn between calling
Aby (my husband) and just waiting for him to come back. But I was so mad at him
coz he didn’t call at all and so I did the craziest thing! I sent him a message
saying “I’m pregnant!” The worst way to find out! Instantly he called and was
like “What? How? Are you sure?” (Well we did a test a week before and it showed
negative, so this was a real shock for him). Well we laughed, I cried and all
this while he was waiting at the airport to check-in his luggage! I sure was
rude! Ah but what you gonna do?
So he comes back home the next
morning and he just hugs me and I knew that having this baby was just perfectly
timed. So the next day we go to the doc and meet this lady. She says it’s too
early to do or say anything. Gives me folic acid tablets to take and sends us
on our way home. Ok so I’m psyched that I have no nausea, no cravings, nothing
and I’m busy cooking chicken for a pot luck dinner party, enjoying all the food
everyone else made – it was on the 14th of Feb! Yes Valentine’s Day.
That Sunday the 16th
of Feb is when I started actually feeling the nausea kick in. Gagging for a
while with nothing coming out. But that just got me tired! Yet I could still
eat anything. So I’m pretty happy.
Two days later we invite a couple
home for dinner and as I’m cooking the chicken, I’m feeling weird as ever. The smell of the chicken is driving me
insane! I finally manage to finish cooking. We have a great meal together; I
ate a little chicken too. But little did I know that that would be the last
non-veg meal I had in a while.
Post that I couldn’t go into the
kitchen. Honestly I think I became super-human in a not so nice sense! My nose
could smell things that I wouldn’t even bother about generally. The vanilla
fragrance from my candle making, the paint smell of the clay pots I painted,
the neighbor’s dog-poop smelling compound, the smell of any meat, or masala
frying, and much more. I could practically smell these a mile away and the
instant I do all my stomach contents would threaten to come right up to my
throat and wait there deciding what to do!
That’s when my life saver comes
into play. My little yellow lime. It’s the best thing to keep your nose away
from smells you hate. And I know the moment I keep the lime near my nose and
sniff, I’m good baby! IT’s my drug I tell you! I don’t go out without it. Wait…
I don’t go to the next room without it! If at any point my lime isn’t working
and it doesn’t give my nose, stomach and mind rest, I know whatever it is has
to come out of my system. No choice!
The first time I threw up
whatever I ate was on the 18th of Feb. I remember exactly what it
was dosa and chutney! By the way, I hate throwing up, like I would rather do
anything else than throw up. But well… like I said before – NO CHOICE!
So this is how my day goes… I
wake up have something to eat and I’m feeling kinda fine. By 7.30 my nausea
kicks in. I have breakfast by 8am; something simple like bread or idly. I eat a
small meal by around 11am. My nausea continues till around 12 noon; by that
time I’m so tired, I just want to sleep. I rest it out for say an hour or two.
Then wake up by 1 and eat again. Sleep again. Wake up again all nauseous. Yeah
basically I’m nauseous the entire day! The worst is by the evening around 6 or
so. Goodness! And that’s the time I’m most hungry!
So I wanted to check online on
what can be done about nausea; if there was any way to stop it. Every site I
opened had a picture of a pretty lady with a face looking like as if she’s
gonna throw up! And I couldn’t help thinking to myself, damn I wish I looked
like that. With all the nausea, the last thing on my mind is if my hair is
combed or if my clothes are in good condition, or if my bed’s done. I really
don’t care about my disheveled look! I’m just waiting to feel ok; even just a
little bit! Whew! Not happening I tell you!
Well anyway back to what I was
saying… so many of the sites said eat something salty and many people said to
have salt biscuits. It’ll help – they said! So I go to the shop with my
husband, buy salt biscuit and come home. I bite into one and realize “oh no,
this doesn’t taste one bit nice”! I somehow manage to eat it and I forget about
it. The next day sometime in the afternoon I want to eat an apple. So I enjoy
the fruit, sharing it with my first baby (yes, our little dog – a Cocker
Spaniel named Hazel). Post eating it, I’m feeling a little queasy and think
maybe now the salt biscuit will work. So I take a piece and eat it. And what do
you know, instantly all I ate – the biscuit and the apple – come gushing out.
The saltiness went right through to my nose! Oh I guess each one’s pregnancy is
different and everybody’s got to test and try what they can and cannot eat.
Then I got super hungry all over
again, this time I asked Aby to get me some vadas and bondas! So after work, he
picked some up and came. And I relished every morsel I ate. After about half an
hour is when it happened. I couldn’t lie down, couldn’t sit, I knew it was all
going to come out and ta da… it did. And all the time I’m throwing up I’m thinking
“Oh crap, this doesn’t taste one bit like what went in!” It would be much
easier to throw up if it tasted good while coming out too you know! Disgusted?
Imagine my plight!
I actually feel a little too much
for my dear husband. Imagine this… He comes back from work and I can’t do
anything. He heats food, gets the place cleaned up, and I just have no energy
to help in any way! And more than that I have my silly flushes of heat and
cold. So I’ll be like “Baby will you get me my sweater and socks.” Two minutes
later, “Baby can you turn on the fan”. Few minutes later, “Baby please turn off
the fan and bring me my blanket na, please!” And a few minutes later, “Baby, I
think I need to throw up.” The poor guy! He really didn’t see all this coming.
But he’s so gentle and caring. I can’t imagine what I’d do without him.
And of course there’s my little
faithful doggie. When Aby’s not home and I end up alone in the bathroom
throwing up, she faithfully will come sit next to me, showing me that she’s
right there. I guess dogs kinda know, you know. She’s been very gentle with me,
won’t jump on me, which is very surprising! She’s adorable! I wonder how she’ll
take the new baby in the house!
Today, the 25th of Feb
and I’m feeling so much better. My uncle and aunt made some Bisi-bele-bath and
I ate little by little. By now I’ve learnt to test my food before slugging it
down like a crazy woman. And my tummy took it in well. I ate 5 meals and I’m
feeling good baby.
So I’ve written all this and
imagine it’s only been 10 days from the start of my nausea! JUST 10 DAYS! And
so many people have told me, “Don’t worry Shobs, it’ll be there only for three
months and then you’ll be fine!” ONLY THREE MONTHS! Like 90 days and I’m done
only with 10! Whew!
Well I guess the story goes to say
that honestly I don’t feel a deep rooted connection with the baby growing in
me. I’m not very excited either. Maybe it’s because I’m permanently thinking
about throwing up, or I’m trying to run away from some smell, or I’m constantly
hungry and trying to figure out what I can eat! I guess time will tell how I
feel. But it’s ok. Not every relationship starts with butterflies and giggles!
Some start tough. I guess they teach you the importance of life and giving
life.
Can’t wait for all the trauma of
“Oh my gosh, I’m having a baby. How am I gonna handle it all?” Well that has to
wait for a few months I guess. Till then…
*Takes a bow, exit stage*
